Aaron Gervais…
…has had his music interpreted in 172 countries, in all 7 continents, and in various other locations, in addition to performances by all of the leading ensembles worldwide and most professional soccer clubs.
…is a composer. He writes music, and in his spare time enjoys adding articulations to other people’s scores, long walks by the beach, and solitary computer-lit dinners slaving over his work.
…is interested in the application of asymmetrical polyvalent pitch nests to the problems of culturo-perceptual relationships involving nine-dimensional string theory data sets. This of course, implies the use of evolutionary quadratic sieves for the purposes of…
…received his musical training on the streets of south-central LA, pushing drums and pimping rows. When he’s not in the studio or capping cops in the street, he’s cruising with the ladies in his custom Mercedes SLR or chilling at the most exclusive clubs.
…is one of the most well-known composers in the East La Jolla New Music scene, having established a reputation as a musical pioneer at such cutting-edge venues as Yummi Maki Yummi Box and Whole Foods, where the manager of the establishment had this to say, “Aaron is a good employee [of compositional techniques]. He’s one of the most meticulous… [composers] I’ve ever had, although he takes too long on his lunch breaks.”
…is a composer. And you’re not—bitch!
…was a contemporary of Mozart living in Prussia. He worked for the royal court of Frederick William II, both as a composer of mainly keyboard works and as a locksmith. Although his works were often dismissed during his lifetime as superficial and unimaginative, musicologists have recently shown that many of his sketches formed the basis for Mozart’s works, and that the two composers maintained a prolific correspondence throughout their lifetimes. They would exchange scores and suggestions for improvements on a monthly basis under the pseudonyms Adrianus Gerveid and Wilhelmgang Merzart…
…is a composer whose assent to stardom is a true testament to the power of the American Dream. Growing up in a poor farming community in southern Texas, he worked three full-time jobs in order to pay his way through college. Gervais is a decorated war veteran who believes in spreading the values of freedom and democracy throughout the world. His music is the music of a true patriot, and his rousing themes provide resolve and inspiration for our troops abroad during his numerous military concert tours.
…loves all music and all cultures. He uses the universal power of melody to end hatred and uplift all the peoples of the world. 20% of the proceeds from his latest album, Beautiful Souls, Let Your Kindness Shine, will be donated to help provide music lessons to underpriviledged children. Order now and you will also receive a personalized inspirational message.
…is the only composer today whose FDA-approved music is guaranteed to help you lose weight and keep off those unwanted pounds for good. No unpleasant and difficult exercises, no dieting, just 20 minutes a day of concentrated listening and you’ll be on your way to that flat sexy tummy you’ve always dreamed of.
…, over phat beatz, rippin’ lyrics like a .44, keep ’em crump on da dance floor, yeah! At all da showz, we knowz who be permutatin’ the tone rowz, desecratin’ melodiez in da high pitchez N da lowz. Shout out 2 my dogz Big Iannis X, Killa Kurtag, Feldie M. Feldman, Charlie “Ivory” Ives, da whole crew at da Second Viennese Projects, So Gubaidu-licious, my producer, N 2 all my thugs keepin’ it real from Tokyo 2 Berlin. See y’all in the clubs N check out my new track, Pitch Class Pimpin’.
…believes in world peace, saving the whales, and the power of positive thinking. He hopes to serve as a role model for future generations of aspiring composers; to help them be the best they can be and to feel good about themselves and their bodies.
…’s music has been described by one leading critic in the following terms: “The performance, although spectacularly well prepared, was a display of embarrassing compositional mast…[ery]. I thought we had finally done away with the pompous self-indulgence of twentieth-century modernism, but Gervais’s work shows that I was mistaken [in my evaluation of the genre]. A performance definitely [not] to be missed, highlighting the disfunctionality of the New Music scene today.”